HOLY CHRISTMAS. (Taken with Instagram)
SWEET MOTHER OF MUSCULAR SANTA CLAUS ASS IN FESTIVE SEASONAL BIKER SHORTS, THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER. Excluding the Pumpkin Horseshit flavor.
A thing that nobody knows about me is that I fucking LOVE Clif Bars. They’re like a cross between energy drinks and astronaut breakfast cereal, the latter of which is a thing I just invented. I bought a box of Blueberry Crisp Clif Bars last week, and it’s almost time to re-up, because that’s my breakfast every day.
Another thing that nobody knows about me is that peppermint stick is one of my favorite flavors for things, ever. One of the many reasons I want to watch the world burn is that peppermint stick flavored stuff isn’t available year-round. Seriously, all I want is candy cane ice cream (and also Count Chocula breakfast cereal) constantly. And to live in a country with better healthcare and education. But year-round peppermint shit is more urgent.
So basically, Peppermint Stick Clif Bars just made my fucking year. They’re out of stock on the Clif Bar website, but I will get my hands on them. And I will stockpile them.
And pumpkin-flavored shit can go fuck itself to death at the bottom of goddamn well. Fuck your pumpkin-flavored seasonal horseshit worship, America.