You think that’s bad, you know that guy Rembrandt? Yeah, he totally stole the idea of rubbing a bunch of oil and pigments around on a piece of canvas until it looked like a picture of a person. “Artist,” my ass.
Do yourself a favor and don’t ever learn anything about Andy Warhol, you will probably become so angry you will die instantly.
I was thinking about Phil the other day, and I think it’s awesome that in spite of all his anger, frustration and everything else (which he’s made no secret of online) absolutely none of it leaked into Fez. Fez is a beautiful, charming peaceful little game. I think that’s awesome. I also think it’s embarrassingly naive of the gaming community to be so shocked and outraged at Phil’s comments online. He’s an artist, not a PR person. Guess what, “gamers:” Artists are fucking weird.
If you were friends with anyone directly involved with anyone in the Zoe situation, I don’t think you would be anonymously sending me an extremely defensive rebuttal less than ten minutes after I wrote a short blurb openly explaining how I felt about the whole ordeal. You sound like you’ve probably watched The Dark Knight too many times, and you’ve formed this hardened sense of justice. You wanna be Batman (I get that, I think everyone wants to be Batman sometimes) but you’re not Batman, you’re one of the angry guys in hockey pads pretending to be Batman.
I was out at dinner with Zoe Quinn, watching her get harassed in realtime by a cabal of irate internet denizens. That was around the time Jontron decided to give his nod of approval to the people behind it. After a few beers, I said “I am going to Tweet a picture of me giving the middle finger to a toilet at him, because fuck his shit." I didn’t go on the warpath or prepare a longwinded argument about why I disagreed with his statements, I sent him a photograph of myself flipping off a toilet.
Sorry, sometimes I’m twelve.
I don’t know Jontron personally. I don’t follow his work on YouTube, but I’m aware of how popular he is. I think it completely sucks that someone with such a large following can be so destructively oblivious to how much influence they have, and how much weight his opinions have. One of the most dangerous parts of internet/YouTube culture is that people can get famous without leaving the house, attracting a huge fanbase without the slightest impetus for personal growth, aside from some snarky comments. When people become famous, on the internet or otherwise, people often stop growing up. When there are thousands of people applauding your every move, why should you listen to someone telling you to check yourself?
When I give advice to depressed kids on this stupid blog, I mostly do it because it seems like a nice thing to do, but it also helps me keep my head out of my ass. It forces me to think about a time when a whole lot less people gave a shit about who I was or what I thought about anything, and to keep everything in perspective. It makes me question myself and consider being in different circumstances. Does that mean I’m a perfect, flawless glistening spectacle of human perfection? Fuck no. But I try to keep an open mind an not let my opinions and attitude ferment, clot, and crystalize into a personal dogma of pigheaded stubbornness.
Like I said, I don’t know Jontron, so I’m not trying to pass judgment on him. However, I didn’t like what he had to say about a friend of mine, so I sent him a picture of myself making a rude hand gesture at a thing that people poop into. I wouldn’t say we have beef, per se, and I’m not sure if that counts as a joke, but it’s something.
I’m sticking my dick in a beehive by even addressing the Zoe Quinn/Jontron situation, but fuck the entire issue. Fuck it into a burning pile of broken shit and nuke it from orbit. How Zoe Quinn has been treated has made me want to quit my fucking job. No matter how much you disagree with her views or disapprove of her lifestyle choices, if you think what Zoe’s done warrants the amount of shit that the internet’s sent her way, you need to take a step back and reassess your entire fucking worldview.
…Hey, if anyone decides to screencap this post and put it on 4chan, can you throw some fun photos of animals along the side? I just think that would be a nice time for everyone.
I quit smoking a few years ago, which was really tough, but also one of the most rewarding decisions I’ve made. Sometimes I miss putting stuff in my mouth and setting it on fire. I still totally understand the smoker mentality, so I know how tiresome it is to hear about quitting, but it’s basically like getting a raise and superpowers at the same time.
I was smoking about half a pack a day, which, in California, adds up to somewhere around a hundred bucks a month, and it’s twice that other places. I think early on, smoking was an enjoyable thing, but towards the end, it was just kind of a thing I did that if I didn’t do it, I was cranky, and in retrospect, throwing that much money at it was stupid. Even if you’re the least healthy person in the world, compare the cost of cigarettes to the cost of liquor and junk food, and consider the sensory payoff.
On the physical side of things, I basically spent age 12-19 being fat, and then started smoking when I was 20, so suddenly being able to do physically strenuous stuff without being totally out of breath was this superhuman revelation. Smoking also wrecks shop on your immune system, and since quitting, I get way less colds. Used to get sinus infections like a motherfucker, which was the worst.
So, in short, not smoking makes you feel like Wolverine, which is kind of funny, because Wolverine smokes.
These bad motherfuckers? These are Cole Haan “Colton Winter” in Paloma Croc/Black, and they are currently one of the top five things that I am most happy about in my life, so that’s not a weird question at all. Thank you for noticing! You can get a pair of your own right here.
Cole Haan has some surprisingly awesome men’s shoes. The kind of shit that you can wear to boring gatherings of caucasian adults, but also to a Morris Day concert. My buddy Christian has a bunch of different pairs, and he lives in Las Vegas, drives a classic car, and takes tasteful nude photographs of beautiful tattooed ladies for a living (check out his stuff here, NSFW as hell) and we have had numerous text message exchanges about how awesome our shoes are.
For more information on the cherryest of all shoes, watch this Professor Brothers cartoon.
Nope. The most trouble I’ve had with the law was a harsh scolding for holding my friend’s open beer. My buddy wasn’t 21 yet, so it would’ve been way worse for him.
Another time, during a music festival in Golden Gate Park, I was drinking whiskey behind a fallen tree in a thicket, and we were like “hyuk hyuk hyuk, cops won’t hassle us in this here briarpatch!” and then a police officer emerged from some nearby bushes on horseback to inform us that smoking cigarettes in a California State Park was against the law. He was cool enough to totally ignore the fifth of Jameson we had sitting on our fallen tree, but I figure if you’re stuck riding a horse around in the woods during a music festival, there’s a good chance you’re drunk on the job.
Don’t do crime, teens.